Gaze Into the Immaculate Snow Buttcheeks of Red One's Horrifying First Trailer

It’s halfway to Christmas and adjacent truthful you’re not acceptable to behold the confoundingly chaotic trailer for Red One. The Chris Evans and Dwayne Johnson vacation enactment movie directed by Jake Kasdan (Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle) is acceptable for merchandise connected November 15 from Amazon MGM.

Starting disconnected with a swole Santa Claus (J.K. Simmons) lifting weights (to support those cooky calories down, presumably) with the assistance of the commandant of the ELF Task Force—played by Johnson arsenic “The Rock if helium were Santa’s bodyguard”—isn’t overmuch of a agelong for an enactment movie, sure. It’s much the incomprehensible bid of crippled slop that follows, which leaves america wondering what this is movie trying to be, extracurricular of a Christmas mentation of Taken? The buff-butt snowmen combat country connected the formation is lone the extremity of the head-scratching choices here. Take a look for yourself successful the trailer below:

We person truthful galore questions! Just successful this clip we get a jacked Santa being benched and kidnapped; Chris Evans (with acheronian hairsbreadth to awesome he’s a rebel) playing a feline who’s both on the naughty list—but besides an indispensable portion of helping the Rock find his boss; magic that embiggens toys into functional real-world objects; a Krampus kink combat club; and those nightmare substance snowmen with bodybuilder bods, including crystal pick scoop butt cheeks that don’t melt connected the beach.

Somehow, this archetypal look astatine Red One seemingly strips its vacation movie conceit of immoderate Christmas tone by leaning hard into the action. Young Rock’s vacation special, 1 of the champion Dwayne Johnson starring vehicles produced by his team, really captures the childlike wonderment of the vacation season, which makes the astonishing messiness connected show present adjacent much curious. Compare this to Violent Night, different recent holiday enactment movie featuring a subversive Santa which inactive took an earnest attack to each its seasonal lore. Here, it’s presented arsenic secondary gag fodder connected steroids. Seriously, wherefore bash each the Christmas characters look similar they spell to the aforesaid gym? From the trailer astatine least, Red One is giving Saturday Night Live skit meets commercialized enactment movie, without the cleverness oregon bosom of holidays films.

Red One opens successful theaters connected November 15.

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