The Barbie Phone is plastic, fantastic, and impractical

The Barbie Phone, overmuch similar the doll it pays tribute to, is simply a happening of beauty. But similar that doll whose proportions, historically, are impossible, the Barbie Phone conscionable isn’t built for the modern world.

Even if the ultra-feminine aesthetic isn’t your happening — and it’s not truly excavation — you person to manus it to the Barbie flip phone. From the container it comes in, to the interchangeable backmost plates, rhinestone stickers, and Barbie-fied interface, it’s a delight. The charger and artillery are some pink, though they’re a lighter shadiness than Mattel’s trademarked Barbie Pink (Pantone 219). The telephone says “Hi Barbie!” erstwhile you crook it on. It’s the explanation of committing to the bit.

The breezy amusive of the Barbie aesthetic, Pantone 219 oregon otherwise, is astatine likelihood with the existent acquisition of utilizing the phone. It’s based connected 1 of HMD’s diagnostic phones, and it runs an operating strategy called KaiOS. The telephone is designed for basal connectivity — texting, calling, emails — and adjacent includes a web browser.

According to HMD, successful summation to being cute, the nostalgic plan and constricted diagnostic acceptable are expected to promote you to disconnect and walk clip with your friends IRL. There are a bid of “Barbie Tips” successful the phone’s menus that counsel you connected this point. 

“No request to springiness up the smartphone entirely,” reads Barbie Tip 1. “Find a equilibrium betwixt your smartphone and your Barbie Phone.” Barbie Tip 6 is titled “DreamHouse™️ Rule” and encourages you to “Make tech-free zones successful your ain DreamHouse. More country for fun!” Incidentally, Mattel says it sells a Barbie DreamHouse each 2 minutes. The DreamHouse retails for $199.99; the Barbie Phone is $129.99.

The thought of popping my SIM paper successful the Barbie telephone and moving distant for a play of integer detoxing with my besties sounds great. The world isn’t truthful easy. Have you ever tried to participate your Google relationship password with an alphanumeric keypad? Do you cognize however to find the curly brackets successful T9? I person and I do, acknowledgment to the Barbie Phone, and I don’t privation that connected anyone. Typing retired messages with predictive substance is much tedious than I remember; if I utilized this telephone regularly, I’d astir apt telephone radical a batch more.

Aside from texting, immoderate of the features of this diagnostic telephone conscionable didn’t enactment decently for me. I successfully synced my Google calendar, but my appointments look connected the incorrect days for reasons I can’t discern. I couldn’t get the FM vigor app to admit the wired earbuds I plugged into the 3.5mm jack. The web browser is painfully dilatory and refuses to render The Verge successful immoderate usable form, though I recognize I americium astir apt the lone idiosyncratic who would effort to work The Verge connected the Barbie Phone.

The delight I felt erstwhile I archetypal unboxed the Barbie Phone was decidedly fading. Even the beforehand of the phone, which is mostly covered by a mirror, looked a batch little charming covered successful my ain fingerprints and smudges. And I conjecture having a reflector connected the beforehand of your telephone is cute, due to the fact that you tin framework up your selfies and cheque your teeth for pieces of kale.

But you cognize erstwhile it’s not cute? Having to look astatine your ain look each clip you cheque for a notification. This is simply a benignant of existential dilemma that Barbie doesn’t person to endure, due to the fact that Barbie’s constitution is pre-applied and she’s perpetually 20 two or whatever. I don’t privation to spot my look erstwhile I’m checking texts, 4 espressos heavy connected a Tuesday greeting with nary a driblet of concealer nether my eyes.

Barbie’s satellite is simply a dream. Unfortunately, the satellite successful which the Barbie Phone lets maine flight the drudgery of modern connectivity besides seems to beryllium a dream. Sure, it fto maine instrumentality a small abrogation from my smartphone and inactive substance my friends. But mostly, it conscionable replaced the annoyances of utilizing an ultra-connected instrumentality with antithetic annoyances.

Someone much committed to utilizing T9 could astir apt person an enjoyable clip with the Barbie Phone. Otherwise, this is conscionable a neat collectible item; thing to instrumentality retired of the container and play with for a while, but yet permission successful a drawer. Kind of similar a doll.

Photography by Allison Johnson / The Verge