The Science Behind Spider-Man: Reign‘s Infamous Radioactive Semen

Marvel Comics courted controversy successful the satellite of Spider-Man this twelvemonth (not the for the archetypal time, and astir surely not the last) with the quality that it was going to return to the infamous alt-universe tale Spider-Man: Reign in a caller bid from archetypal creator Kaare Andrews. In a comics past arsenic agelong arsenic Peter Parker’s, there’s been plentifulness of arguable storylines implicit the decades, but it’s not each time you person a Spider-Man comic that includes a plotline wherever Mary Jane Watson dies of crab aft years of radioactive enactment with Peter. But speech from the precise bully question of “Why did I conscionable person to work that sentence?” fans person agelong asked: is that really feasible, adjacent beyond a satellite of superheroes?

Thankfully, idiosyncratic is present astatine past to answer. Releasing this week from Smart Pop, Diana McCallum‘s Sex Lives of Superheroes: Wolverine’s Immortal Sperm, Superman’s Porn Career, the Thing’s Thing, and Other Super-Sexual Matters Explained explores the intersexual world of superhero comics successful a bid of speculative, informative, and often comedic essays to reply the questions excessively lewd for the pages of Marvel and DC.

Ever wondered what Steve Rogers’ enactment ed would’ve been similar earlier helium became Captain America? What happened that 1 clip Superman made a porno? Just however bash healing factors similar Wolverine’s and Deadpool’s origin into their sperm? All these, and more, are answered—and to observe its merchandise (hi-o!), io9 is… proud, to present, McCallum’s afloat effort from Sex Lives of Superheroes tackling the thorny questions raised by Spider-Man Reign below.

© Smart Pop

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, Radioactive Spider-Man. Spider blood, spider blood, radioactive spider humor (repeat 3 times).

—From “Spider-Man: The Animated Series Theme Song” by Joe Perry

Spider-Man mightiness conscionable beryllium the astir fashionable superhero of each time, and with large popularity comes large moments successful superhero (and cinematic) history. Moments similar the upside-down buss with Mary Jane successful the rain, the aggregate Spider-Man team-up in Spider-Man: No Way Home, and Miles Morales’s leap of religion from Into the Spider-Verse. But a hero’s beingness can’t beryllium each highs, and nary leader has experienced much lows than Peter Parker, a antheral whose root communicative involves the decease of his uncle, whose archetypal emotion involvement was killed by the recoil from his ain webbing, and who had to marque everyone helium ever met hide helium existed successful bid to prevention the world. Eep. When you deliberation astir everything Peter’s been through, it’s unthinkable that this feline is inactive truthful upbeat and afloat of puns—and we haven’t adjacent touched connected what mightiness beryllium Spidey’s astir infamous moment, that clip Peter Parker killed his woman with his radioactive semen.

What’s that, you privation to larn much astir that past part? That’s genuinely shocking, but sure, let’s speech astir Spider-Man’s deadly splooge.

The Infamous Semen Comic

If you someway aren’t acquainted with this perfectly chaotic series of events, the antecedently mentioned spermicide (a homicide caused by sperm, obviously) occurred successful the 2006 miniseries Spider-Man: Reign, an officially sanctioned Marvel comic. In this communicative we are introduced to a geriatric Peter Parker surviving unsocial successful New York, having retired from being the affable vicinity Spider-Man aft the decease of his woman Mary Jane Watson-Parker years earlier. How did she die? Well, this is however Peter explained it (while clutching her decaying, unearthed corpse, if you’re curious):

The doctors didn’t recognize however it happened! How you had been poisoned with radioactivity! How your assemblage dilatory became riddled with cancer! I did. I was . . . I americium filled with radioactive blood. And not conscionable blood. Every fluid. Touching maine . . . loving maine . . . loving maine killed you! Like a spider crawling up wrong your assemblage and laying a 1000 eggs of crab . . . I killed you.

So determination you person it, consecutive from the spider’s mouth. According to Peter (who, I’ll punctual you, is simply a goddamn scientist), Mary Jane died from crab caused by radioactive fluids exchanged erstwhile a mates touches and loves each other. So . . . semen. He’s saying helium killed Mary Jane by infecting her with radioactive semen whenever they made love. Which feels similar a chaotic assertion to leap to without proof. For a antheral who perpetually brings up his “radioactive spider blood” successful conversation, helium seems beauteous definite that his semen, and not his humor oregon immoderate different bodily fluid, was what caused the aggregate cancers that claimed Mary Jane’s body. And portion it’s good known that vulnerability to radiation tin origin cancer, truthful tin a batch of different things, similar smoking, prima exposure, oregon conscionable a mediocre diet. Heck, possibly Mary Jane lived adjacent immoderate powerfulness lines oregon something. Knowing Peter’s self-deprecating nature, though, it makes consciousness for him to automatically blasted his radioactive bodily fluids for his wife’s demise, and possibly helium conscionable assumes it was his semen due to the fact that that’s the lone bodily fluid helium knows for definite made interaction with her assemblage via unprotected sex. Or possibly helium knows thing we don’t.

This leads america to a fewer questions that request answering. One, wherefore would Marvel people immoderate of that? And two, is it really imaginable that Peter killed his woman with his radioactive spider-semen?

We’ll ne'er cognize the reply to question one, but we tin reply question 2 with shocking accuracy.

With Great Power Comes Great Radioactivity

The archetypal happening we person to speech astir erstwhile it comes to solving this spermicide is bully aged terrifying radiation itself. We cognize that Spider-Man is radioactive, not conscionable due to the fact that it’s brought up successful each his taxable songs, but due to the fact that it’s the backbone of his root story. While going astir his concern 1 day, Peter Parker was bitten by a spider that gave him spider-like superpowers (and thankfully for his societal life, not a spider-like appearance). For astir radical a spider wound conscionable gives you an annoying bump connected your skin, but the spider that spot Peter had been exposed to precocious levels of radiation and caused what’s known arsenic interior radiation contamination (and besides caused him to make superpowers that kept that radiation from sidesplitting him, dissimilar mediocre Mary Jane). According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), interior contamination occurs “when radioactive materials participate the assemblage done an unfastened coiled oregon are absorbed done the skin” and a spider wound decidedly qualifies arsenic an unfastened coiled (as opposed to “external contamination,” which is erstwhile radioactive worldly comes into little topical interaction with a person’s skin, hair, oregon clothing). But the CDC besides backs up Peter’s assertion that his bodily fluids would beryllium radioactive capable to contaminate others. 

People who are internally contaminated tin exposure radical adjacent them to radiation from the radioactive worldly wrong their bodies. The assemblage fluids (blood, sweat, urine) of an internally contaminated idiosyncratic tin incorporate radioactive materials. Coming successful interaction with these assemblage fluids tin effect successful contamination and/or exposure.

Now, you mightiness announcement the researchers astatine the CDC did not specifically notation semen arsenic 1 of the bodily fluids that tin exposure idiosyncratic to radiation, but don’t worry, braver scientists than them guarantee america aboriginal successful this section that semen is besides brimming with radiation successful a idiosyncratic who has been internally contaminated.

So, we’ve established that Peter’s semen is successful information radioactive, but truthful are each the different fluids successful his body. To beryllium it was so his semen that killed Mary Jane, we request to cognize however overmuch radiation semen holds compared to different bodily fluids. And to bash that we’re going to person to research immoderate weird places with our bully person subject oregon you won’t adjacent judge the reply erstwhile we get there. 

To beryllium Peter’s radioactive Semen-Man theory, we request to cognize what benignant of radiation helium was infected with backmost erstwhile helium was a skinny small nerd. Unfortunately, nary comic oregon movie has ever provided america with the nonstop benignant of radiation the spider that spot Peter was irradiated with; we’re conscionable told it was mostly radioactive. We person places to beryllium and semen to discuss, truthful we can’t tally done each radioactive constituent successful beingness close now, but determination are a fewer deadly and well-documented suspects we tin consider. For example, successful 2006 a erstwhile Russian spy named Alexander Litvinenko died respective weeks aft his beverage was poisoned with the radioactive constituent polonium-210. After helium was diagnosed with radiation poisoning, the British authorities unopen down respective restaurants and nightclubs Litvinenko had precocious visited successful lawsuit helium had excreted important amounts of polonium arsenic helium went astir his day. This means scientists and governments hold that radiation vulnerability done bodily fluids is thing to beryllium acrophobic astir with this element. However, polonium is not apt to beryllium what Peter was infected with, arsenic this worldly is truthful potent that it kills successful astir a week and is not commonly associated with cancer, which is what killed Mary Jane.

It’s overmuch much apt that the spider that spot Peter was exposed to thing similar uranium, which is what we’ll presume from this constituent on. Uranium is simply a radioactive constituent that tin beryllium successful the assemblage for agelong periods of clip without sidesplitting the infected idiosyncratic (as we’re astir to learn) but is besides known to origin lethal instances of crab implicit agelong periods of exposure. In fact, a 2015 survey recovered that uranium miners had a 32 percent accidental of dying from cancer,11 which is treble the planetary crab mortality complaint of 16 percent. So uranium vulnerability could decidedly explicate MJ contracting aggregate cancers that formed implicit respective years successful Spider-Man: Reign. As a bonus for our purposes, scientists person been studying the effects of uranium connected bodily fluids for immoderate clip now, truthful strap successful for what is hopefully the lone roller-coaster thrust you volition ever spell connected that includes radioactive blood, urine, and semen.

© Kaare Andrews/Marvel Comics

Which Bodily Fluid Killed Mary Jane?

For the accusation we’re astir to explore, we indispensable convey the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (USDVA) and their survey titled Semen Uranium Concentrations successful Depleted Uranium Exposed Gulf War Veterans: Correlations with Other Body Fluid Matrices. What this agelong rubric boils down to is that successful 2009 a radical of scientists worked with thirty-five veterans of the Gulf War to survey the effects of semipermanent vulnerability to uranium, which specifically included checking the uranium levels successful their blood, urine, and semen. And for that, we salute them.

The participants successful this survey were each exposed to uranium during the Gulf War successful 1991, but their bodily fluid samples were taken successful 2009, eighteen years aft exposure—and wouldn’t you cognize it, aft each that time, all of their bodily fluids inactive contained radioactive uranium elements. This is

relevant due to the fact that Peter was with Mary Jane for astatine slightest a decennary successful the comic earlier she started getting sick from radiation poisoning, truthful we tin safely presume Peter was inactive excreting important amounts of radiation from each of his bodily fluids 10 years into their relationship. This besides means helium was unknowingly being the menace J. Jonah Jameson claimed helium was for all those years.

So Peter was close that “every fluid” successful his assemblage was apt inactive radioactive years aft his celebrated spider bite. Now, let’s get to the main lawsuit and speech astir splooge. The researchers of the aforementioned survey created a standard of what they expected the uranium levels successful the semen of their subjects to be, which ranged from debased (5 picograms/gram) to mean (50 pg/g) to precocious (1,000 pg/g). What they ended up uncovering was that fractional the participants had uranium levels that were considered precocious and above. One subordinate adjacent had a uranium number successful their semen of 3,350 pg/g, which is much than 3 times the “high” people they expected. So not lone were their subjects inactive excreting uranium eighteen years aft exposure, they were releasing importantly much than predicted.

That makes semen a premier fishy successful the sidesplitting of Mary Jane. But to find erstwhile and for each that Peter’s semen was so liable for this deadly spermicide (so we can, I don’t know, nonstop him to sperm jailhouse oregon something), we request to cognize for definite which bodily fluid holds the astir radiation. So adjacent we’ll look astatine precisely however overmuch uranium was recovered successful equivalent amounts of each bodily fluid, including blood, urine, sweat, and semen. (The USDVA survey didn’t really see an investigation of the uranium levels recovered successful sweat. Fortunately, they aren’t the lone bodily fluid crippled successful town. A antithetic survey from the University of Alberta tells america that, connected average, sweat volition incorporate 10 times arsenic overmuch uranium arsenic urine, truthful we’ll usage that estimation successful our calculations for sweat.) With that successful mind, present are the mean amounts of uranium recovered successful the participants of the USDVA study, sorted by bodily fluid:

Blood: 0.16 pg/g

Urine: 5.39 pg/g

Sweat: 53.9 pg/g (estimated)

Semen: 306.91 pg/g

Holy web shooters, semen is bursting with radiation compared to different bodily fluids. These numbers archer america that semen has astir six times much radiation than sweat, fifty-seven times much radiation than urine, and astir two thousand times much radiation than blood! At that complaint it’s a wonderment that Peter’s testicles aren’t emitting a brushed radioactive glow to pass women distant from his deadly small swimmers oregon mounting disconnected his ain spider consciousness each clip helium goes adjacent his genitals. All the grounds truthful acold is surely pointing to spider-semen arsenic the killer, but the last question is whether Mary Jane was exposed to capable uranium from Peter’s web fluids to marque her sick. According to the CDC, “in bid for uranium wrong the assemblage to origin cancer, the levels of uranium person to beryllium truthful ample that they are easy detected by laboratory analysis.” Since scientists detected these radioactive atrocious boys beauteous easy and recovered that the levels were virtually higher than high, we tin safely slap the handcuffs connected semen arsenic being the bodily fluid that struck Mary Jane down. Talk astir a neogenic nightmare, and a twist connected the accepted lore.

The Spider-Man mythos is consistently hung up connected Peter’s “radioactive spider blood,” but looking astatine these numbers, the magnitude of radiation successful his humor is frankly negligible compared to his semen and different bodily fluids. We’re going to person to bash immoderate arguable rewrites of a fewer Spider-Man taxable songs for accuracy is each I’m saying. But earlier that, we mightiness beryllium Spider-Man: Reign an apology for dismissing their autopsy results, arsenic Peter turned retired to beryllium right—his radioactive semen decidedly killed his wife. And it’s harmless to accidental nary 1 saw that coming. Considering however unsafe it is to beryllium joined to Spider-Man, deadly sperm was a beauteous debased contender connected the database of things that mightiness termination MJ. Personally, I had wealth connected the Kingpin.

While sidesplitting your woman is 1 imaginable broadside effect of having radioactive spider-semen, unluckily it’s not the lone one. We besides person to see what effect this deadly load whitethorn person connected the couple’s quality to conceive a kid and however it whitethorn interaction said child. But fto maine conscionable accidental earlier we dive into the results, it’s not astir arsenic atrocious arsenic sidesplitting your woman (though not galore things are).

The Itsy-Bitsy Spider Baby

Most radical cognize that precocious doses of radiation vulnerability to the testes oregon ovaries tin pb to impermanent oregon imperishable sterility, but it turns retired that radiation has shockingly small effect connected the sperm oregon eggs erstwhile it comes to things similar commencement defects, miscarriage, oregon mutation. While it’s imaginable that Peter’s radioactive fluids would marque it hard for him and MJ to conceive astatine all, if they bash negociate to get pregnant, the hazard of their kid having commencement defects oregon mutations is shockingly low. Everything you’ve ever seen oregon work astir vulnerability to radiation whitethorn archer you that this can’t perchance beryllium right, arsenic you whitethorn beryllium picturing the radioactive three-eyed food from The Simpsons close present oregon pointing retired that Peter Parker himself mutated into a spider antheral from a radioactive spider bite, but successful existent beingness it turns retired that eggs and sperm are not arsenic easy mutated arsenic comic books would pb america to believe.

An extended survey connected the effects of radiation vulnerability from the Chernobyl atomic powerfulness works catastrophe successful 1986 looked astatine the genetics of the children of 2 100 survivors of the incidental and recovered determination were nary mutations successful the survivors’ children. None! Scientists concluded that radiation could perfectly origin DNA harm and summation the hazard of crab to those straight exposed to it, but recovered that the fig of germline mutations (a mutation passed connected from parents to offspring) was nary greater successful the children of highly exposed parents than those of children calved to parents who were not exposed astatine all. So basically, radiation tin alteration your ain DNA, but not the DNA you walk connected to your children. What does this mean for a imaginable affable vicinity spider-baby? Well, if Peter and Mary Jane did person children, they would apt person nary radiation-related mutations, which means Baby Parker-Watson wouldn’t inherit immoderate of Peter’s spider-powers and would conscionable beryllium a regular baby. That babe would inactive beryllium a menace successful the mode that each babies are, but little of a menace than 1 with ace spot and the quality to sprout webs retired of its wrists.

Using Protection successful the Bedroom

We cognize present that it was so Peter’s semen that killed Mary Jane, but let’s research a small further and fig retired if determination was immoderate mode helium could person protected her from his small radioactive relatives. After all, helium wouldn’t beryllium the archetypal superhero who had to fig retired however to safely person enactment with their spouse due to the fact that their powers were connected the murderous side. Rogue and Gambit of the X-Men person been an on-again, off-again mates for decades, partially due to the fact that of their genuine narration issues and partially due to the fact that if Rogue’s tegument comes into interaction with Gambit it would virtually suck the beingness retired of his body, which is some a temper slayer and a killer-killer. The mates person lone managed to beryllium intimate a fistful of times erstwhile Rogue’s powers person been dampened by 1 crippled instrumentality oregon another, but astir of the clip they indispensable simply support a carnal region for safety’s involvement and refrain from touching each other. So, an abstinence-based attack with nary sexual-thwipping of immoderate benignant is 1 enactment to support Mary Jane, but Peter mightiness beryllium happier emulating DC powerfulness mates Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, who managed to flooded a akin intersexual conundrum arsenic our affable vicinity Spider-Man. As her sanction suggests, Poison Ivy is, well, poisonous. She’s susceptible of secreting toxic substances from her body, including the quality to termination with a poison kiss, which is utile erstwhile you’re trying to execution horny billionaires but annoying erstwhile you’re trying to marque retired with your girlfriend. A decease buss would decidedly beryllium a information interest successful the bedroom, but Poison Ivy is besides a idiosyncratic and utilized her astir beauteous assemblage portion (her brain!) to make a vaccine to inoculate Harley against Ivy’s much poisonous traits. This antitoxin allows the mates to safely beryllium intimate and includes the amusive broadside effect of giving Harley accrued spot and stamina, which is thing that volition ne'er spell astray successful the bedroom. Heck, possibly Ivy conscionable threw those powers successful determination due to the fact that she thought it’d beryllium fun. Respect, if so. Either way, her workaround shows that it’s imaginable for a perchance toxic mates to usage originative forms of extortion to signifier harmless sex, and Peter had respective precise bully options to take from to support Mary Jane if helium had known his downstairs web fluid was dangerously irradiated.

As discussed, Peter was contaminated with radiation internally, which means helium is not emitting waves of radiation extracurricular his body, and the lone mode helium tin contaminate different idiosyncratic is done carnal interaction with his bodily fluids. Since Mary Jane died from nonstop semen exposure, we tin deduce that the mates regularly had either oral oregon penetrative enactment without utilizing a condom, which has to beryllium the weirdest mode to ever verify a superhero is rawdogging it with his wife. A large mode for Peter and Mary Jane to halt this vulnerability from happening is to conscionable usage condoms during sex—this would person kept her from coming into interaction with his semen, which we present cognize was the starring origin of her cancer. Using condoms wouldn’t person stopped her from coming into interaction with Peter’s sweat during sex, but this would beryllium acold little of a interest considering that sweat contains 5 times little radiation than semen and besides that precise minimal amounts would spell wrong MJ’s body. Considering his spider-strength and stamina, it seems doubtful enactment is adjacent an aggravated capable enactment to marque Peter commencement sweating successful the archetypal place. And adjacent if helium was sweating up a storm, condoms decidedly wouldn’t person wounded arsenic an added precaution.

But condoms aren’t the lone extortion Peter could person used; determination are besides a fewer radiation treatments that tin beryllium administered aft exposure. As mentioned earlier, we tin lone conjecture astatine the nonstop benignant of radiation that Peter was exposed to by his spider bite, but if helium happened to beryllium infected with, say, radioactive iodine alternatively of uranium, Mary Jane could person taken potassium iodide pills aft enactment to counteract the effects, benignant of similar a morning-after pill but for radiation exposure. The CDC warns that to beryllium effectual “a idiosyncratic indispensable instrumentality [potassium iodide] earlier oregon soon aft vulnerability to radioactive iodine,” though, truthful she’d person to beryllium quick.

Similarly, if Peter’s assemblage excretes cesium oregon thallium past Mary Jane could beryllium treated with a pill called Prussian blue, which prevents the assemblage from absorbing the radioactive material. This pill tin prevention your beingness but volition besides crook your mouth, teeth, and stool blue, truthful Mary Jane would beryllium live but would look similar the miss who turned into a blueberry astatine Willy Wonka’s cocoa factory. Finally, if Peter was radiated with plutonium, americium, oregon curium, a much utmost attraction called DTPA (diethylenetriamine pentaacetate) could assistance dainty immoderate resulting corruption MJ incurs. This attraction indispensable beryllium taken either done an IV oregon arsenic a mist that is breathed into the lungs, and it would person to beryllium administered each clip they had sex, which would surely bring a full caller meaning to “playing doctor” successful the bedroom. So, Mary Jane decidedly has immoderate attraction options for radiation exposure, but erstwhile each is said and done, the easiest and safest method is for Peter to conscionable deterioration a condom, which you wouldn’t deliberation would beryllium hard for a feline who wears a full-body spandex suit arsenic portion of his time job.

Much similar Peter Parker, we request to wrapper things up, but let’s adjacent retired this section by exploring however the radioactive revelations we’ve uncovered mightiness impact the remainder of the superhero world.

Other Radioactive Heroes Waiting to Kill

Unfortunately for each the imaginable quality intersexual partners successful the Marvel universe, Peter Parker is not the lone superhero retired determination who whitethorn beryllium waiting to termination via repeated radioactive orgasms (or adjacent conscionable one).

Other famously radioactive heroes see the Fantastic Four, who obtained their powers by being bombarded with cosmic radiation. Luckily for squad members Reed Richards and Sue Storm, the hazard of infecting a person with radiation during enactment is of small interest arsenic they are happily joined to each different and person nary different intersexual partners. Plus, since they got their powers from the aforesaid root of radiation, it seems beauteous improbable their bodily fluids could wounded each other. Ben Grimm likewise doesn’t person overmuch interest successful this department, arsenic we volition sermon successful a aboriginal section however helium apt has nary penis with which to ejaculate, truthful eliminating the hazard of this peculiar contaminant. That conscionable leaves Johnny Storm, aka the Human Torch, a known playboy who has dated dozens of women implicit the years, which could beryllium bully oregon atrocious successful this scenario. It’s decidedly atrocious that he’s perchance poisoned dozens of women with radioactive semen erstwhile helium “flames on” during intercourse, but the information that helium doesn’t day women for a peculiarly agelong clip besides makes it little apt that he’s exposed immoderate 1 partner to a peculiarly unsafe magnitude of radiation. After all, we’re told that Peter’s deadly semen dilatory killed Mary Jane implicit galore years, truthful Johnny’s fearfulness of committedness whitethorn person saved the lives of galore of the women he’s dated. What a hero. Also, judging by the deficiency of small Johnnys moving astir the Marvel universe, it seems apt that Johnny wears a condom erstwhile helium has sex, which mightiness beryllium the lone illustration we person of Johnny Storm displaying a consciousness of responsibility.

Of course, we can’t sermon radioactive superheroes without mentioning the gamma-radiated greenish rage-monster, the Hulk, aka Bruce Banner. In the erstwhile section we discussed the information of Bruce perchance hulking retired whenever helium orgasms, but an adjacent amended crushed for him to abstain from carnal pleasures is the information that his semen is apt almighty capable to termination connected contact. Remember, Peter got his powers from a tiny spider bite, and that was capable radiation to termination his woman aft a fewer years of exposure, but Bruce got his powers from lasting straight successful the blast radius of a gamma bomb. We already cognize that Bruce’s humor contains capable radiation to termination someone—in The Incredible Hulk movie a antheral accidentally ingests a tiny driblet of Bruce’s humor mixed into a soda and instantly falls unconscious from “gamma sickness.” If Bruce’s semen is similar Peter’s and contains 2 1000 times much radiation than his blood, well, I’m not adjacent going to fuss with immoderate amusive mathematics successful this instance, I’m conscionable going to accidental that’s excessively overmuch radioactive semen for immoderate quality to handle. We’re talking astir a substance truthful toxic it would melt a idiosyncratic successful fractional instantly upon exposure. So, for everyone’s safety, don’t marque Bruce horny; you wouldn’t similar him erstwhile he’s horny.

As for Peter Parker, well, it seems helium has different calamity to spur connected his superhero exploits arsenic helium is present indirectly liable for the decease of some his uncle and his wife. But possibly a acquisition tin beryllium learned here, which is that being a leader means protecting people. And protecting radical tin beryllium arsenic elemental arsenic putting connected a spandex supersuit—or putting connected a condom.

Sex Lives of Superheroes: Wolverine’s Immortal Sperm, Superman’s Porn Career, the Thing’s Thing, and Other Super-Sexual Matters Explained is available to acquisition now.

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