Why did Caroline Ellison do it?

Ellison spoke connected her ain behalf, opening by apologizing to everyone she’s hurt. “I deliberation connected immoderate level my encephalon can’t adjacent genuinely comprehend the standard of the harms I’ve caused,” she said. “That doesn’t mean I don’t try. So to each the victims and everyone I harmed straight oregon indirectly, I americium so, truthful sorry.”

Ellison went connected to accidental that she’s ever thought of herself arsenic an honorable idiosyncratic — and that her 2018 aforesaid couldn’t ideate being here. “The longer I worked astatine Alameda, the much my consciousness of aforesaid became inextricably intertwined with what Sam thought of maine and the much I subordinated my ain values and judgement to his,” she said.

There was thing culty astir FTX and its sister company, Alameda. The crypto manufacture is ever on, which tends to pb to slumber deprivation among crypto traders. Many traders, including Ellison, trust connected stimulants specified arsenic Adderall, which suppresses appetite and tiredness. And Ellison ne'er truly near enactment — instead, she went backmost to an flat she shared with her friends and coworkers. Leaving would person meant abandoning her nearest and dearest. She was, arsenic she enactment it, isolated. “At each signifier of the process, it felt harder and harder to extricate myself and to bash the close thing,” she said.

And past determination was her on-and-off-again narration with Bankman-Fried. According to her lawyer Anjan Sahni, she met Bankman-Fried erstwhile she was successful assemblage and had a crush connected him “from the beginning.” Eventually, her full satellite revolved astir whether she made him blessed oregon not, which resulted successful diary entries similar “Sam doesn’t emotion maine due to the fact that I’m not bully capable for him.” She went connected to constitute “I tin go bully capable for him” by, among different things, moving harder. Some of this tin beryllium chalked up to inexperience; those of america who are older cognize this is not however a occupation — or, for that matter, a narration — works.

The letters submitted connected Ellison’s behalf emphasized that she was a good, benignant idiosyncratic — focusing connected her volunteering, the wealth she donated, her selflessness, and her perfectionist streak. Cults thin to pull bully people, astute people, radical who privation to marque the satellite better. And we cognize Ellison was already associated with thing culty — effective altruism — that besides purported to amended the world. 

We besides cognize that erstwhile Ellison got caught, she instantly came clean. That was portion of the crushed her grounds against Bankman-Fried was truthful “devastating,” said authoritative Danielle Sassoon, who asked for a lenient condemnation for Ellison. She was credible “because of her candor and her refusal to minimize her ain relation oregon sidestep the astir humiliating aspects of her conduct,” Sassoon said. “Unlike Bankman-Fried, she is not cunning. There is nary grounds that she was driven by greed oregon that an appetite for hazard oregon powerfulness is portion of her nature.”

Even successful sentencing her, Judge Lewis Kaplan remarked connected Ellison’s testimony. “I’ve seen a batch of cooperators successful 30 years,” helium said. “I’ve ne'er seen 1 rather similar Ms. Ellison.” Her grounds was accordant and damning; she did not question to exonerate herself. In particular, erstwhile it came to the spreadsheets of doom — the forged equilibrium sheets that fundamentally sealed Bankman-Fried’s destiny — it was Ellison recovered the papers and alerted prosecutors to it. It was similar she was seeking a cleanable people successful cooperating with the government.

So what was Ellison’s nature? The diaries she submitted with her sentencing papers amusement her trying hard to beryllium amended astatine enactment and see resolutions specified arsenic “take clip disconnected enactment and detox from Adderall.” Ellison appears to beryllium focused connected trying to optimize herself arsenic overmuch arsenic possible, giving herself bulletpointed proposal specified arsenic “try and get tiny things done and bootstrap that into expanding confidence” and “give myself affirmative feedback regularly.”

During her testimony, listening to her sermon making decisions during her clip astatine Alameda was similar watching a quality successful a fearfulness movie marque choices that played close into the killer’s hands. At immoderate point, a willingness to beryllium some selfish and disobedient would person saved her. “For immoderate crushed that is hard for maine to understand, Mr. Bankman-Fried had your Kryptonite,” Kaplan said. 

When Ellison joined Alameda Research, for instance, she discovered Bankman-Fried hadn’t been wholly honorable with her astir the company’s circumstances. There’d conscionable been a wide resignation connected staff, and lenders had pulled millions. You tin ideate idiosyncratic other hitting the bricks — after all, Ellison’s aged occupation astatine Jane Street astir apt would person opened doors to a batch of different places if she’d been capable to grip being concisely unemployed.

But she didn’t. Instead, according to her testimony, she stayed arsenic Bankman-Fried convinced her that lying and stealing were good successful the work of the greater good. Little by little, she got much comfy with dishonesty, until she was sending mendacious equilibrium sheets to lenders and taking lawsuit money. And arsenic her diaries — some published successful The New York Times and submitted arsenic portion of her sentencing — demonstrate, she wanted to marque Bankman-Fried happy.

Maybe Kaplan had a pugnacious clip knowing wherefore Ellison got sucked into this, but I deliberation I person a clearer representation now. Give Ellison an authorization figure, and she volition effort to delight them — behaving arsenic obediently arsenic she can, stressing astir however she tin beryllium better, and basing her happiness connected however adjacent she comes to perfection. A straight-A student, a reliable worker (and co-conspirator), and — yet — a matchless cooperating witness. If this is wherever being a bully miss gets you, I urge being bad.